After labouring from midnight onwards to 3:56 pm on September 17th, our Littlest of Babes entered the world. The biggest of all our babes at 7 lbs. 10 oz.
She goes by the name:
Violet Dahlia Mayfair Grier
39 Weeks and the Littlest of Babes is still living inside. I desperately want to be one instead of two again. Pregnancy has not been a walk in the park. There is no blissful Mama here. My friends are lovely and encouraging. I could not ask for more precious beings. But I would be lying if I said that those who experience amazing pregnant feelings and express them to me don't leave me resentful. It is really hard being a Mama who begrudges the beauty of pregnancy. But for me it has never been that. And for me when I run into the belly rubbing glowing Mamas, although not their intention, I feel unwelcome, judged, ostracized and less than woman.
Since the beginning of this pregnancy I have been ill. I have been forced to lay in bed, losing out on experiences with my loves and life. There was so much planned in the way of crafting, my release, for this babe. But all I could do was lay like a lump, my mind numbing. The effort to even think, contemplate, review has been unbearable. For almost three quarters of a revolution around the sun I have been a shell of myself while being the shell for another. It has been defeating and guilt-ridden.
I look with hope to the arrival of the new babe. She will bring promise and joy and precious innocence. She will also bring a rejuvenation to motherhood which I yearn. There is no mistaking that this little being is propelling me and I will love her. The experience has never shaken that. We will be blessed by pureness.
So please Littlest of Babes, arrive soon by your choosing. We wish to meet you and I wish for you to meet your Mama.
Labels: BABY BUMP WATCH
I subscribe to Dahlia Professional Tattoo and Piercing Studio because the artist, Robin Labreche, is the amazingness behind the amazing tattoo of my grandfather. He was my world and I wanted to immortalize him. It couldn't have been a better experience or a better job. It is amazing and most days I get compliments on it. Well, today the studio posted photos of my tattoo in a magazine! So cool! Thought I would share!
Have a good weekend! I'm still pregnant with the Littlest of Babes.
The bun is still baking in the oven, although yesterday I spent 12 hours in false/preparatory back labour. But although it was constant, it was not increasing in strength or in intervals. Back pain is a daily frustration along with the stimulation of two young girls while I would like to rest and work through the pain. The decision to homeschool for us is a great one. Although it is a personal choice - also one based on research - I cannot imagine changing the rhythm of the day and pushing the Eldest Babe away just as a new member of the family is entering. The Littlest Babe just stated today that she didn't want her big sister at school. Their bond is crazy strong and the separation anxiety would be too much.
We officially start our intro to homeschool next week, which could be up in the air just based on the arrival of the Littlest of Babes. It really isn't an intense curriculum as it shouldn't be. It incorporates Montessori learning with regards to writing, reading and arithmetic with no pressure. Our day will follow rhythms of breathing in and breathing out and will incorporate a lot of natural learning, play and fresh air and of course baking and art. It isn't a strict structure and I have been working on some learning materials (as we cannot afford a lot of materials and I love crafting!). It will work for our family, we believe.
Here are some of my fave Etsy finds that I plan on designing for this year's pre-kindergarten curriculum:
Apple n Amos
The Handmade Classroom
And my Fave websites / articles so far to guide my journey:
Bleubird Vintage's Journey with Homeschooling
Zander Sherman information
DIY Learning Toys
Made by Joel
Hope all Mamas and Papas, regardless of their September plans, are enjoying their moments and happiness.